You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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