What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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