just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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