i just sent this text using only my big toe
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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