and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
