It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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