At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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did i walk over a car last night?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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