can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
