Got a toothbrush?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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