Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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