This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize