i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Shame - the story of my life.
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