from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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