3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
