Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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