People with herpes should wear stickers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
