D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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