marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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