it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
