Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
