i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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