what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
