you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
