you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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