spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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