I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
my liver is dry heaving
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
