We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
