Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...