Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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