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• (775): View more from Nevada

  somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

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• (925): View more from California

  is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (415): View more from California

  I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc

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• (+33): View more from France

  We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

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• (831): View more from California

  if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

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• (310): View more from California

  I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision

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