sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
