Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
