Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
