yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
