You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
