Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
