and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
