I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
