Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
