her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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