the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.