My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place