Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you need anything just hit me up
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!