Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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