Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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