FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
