Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I would ride that face into the sunset
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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