We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
