Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
