I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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