So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
40s are totally the cure
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
