we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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