He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
