I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
