Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize