He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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