Im at strip club and am horny
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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