ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
