Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
