Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I look better un-naked...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
