you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
