FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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