i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
