butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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