I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
