we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize