dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
