Non-Jews are for practice
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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