i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
